will i regret breaking up with her?? Men’s advice needed?

Asked: will i regret breaking up with her?? Men’s advice needed?

I am a 19 year old guy (cant get my avatar to change) who dated Marina, who is 2 years older than me for two years. We were both each other's first gf/bf and love. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Never got jealous, clingy (i always had to ask her to contact me more), supportive and most of all my best friend. I'm stressed with classes, work and family drama. I feel like I don't have time for her while doing school and can't focus. Whenever I sit to study, all I can do is think about her (not that she is contacting me at all during the time I study). She is very understanding and always gave me the time I needed to study, as she needed time to study too. Whenever I couldn't go out with her, she totally understood, and never gave me attitude about it. I'm going to dental school in 2 years and she got me an internship at her friend's dad's dentistry. I feel like i can't love her as much as she deserves. I broke up with her twice within 2 months and this last time she said she didn't want me to contact her unless I wanted to get back together or I was about to jump off a bridge. I feel so horrible and embarrassed. I broke her heart bad. She says she doesn't understand any of it because she never demanded a lot from me in the first place. (which is true). But I cant control myself. She is honestly probably the perfect girl for me and my family and if I was older, I would marry her. I have no interest in seeing other women at all. I know she is in a lot of pain right now. I feel horrible. We haven't talked in 2 months and it's been three months since I broke up with her. She never did anything wrong and I know she still wants to work it out. Every time I see her at the gym she totally ignores me. I still want to be friends. I dont know what to do. I feel like I lost my only best friend. I deleted my fb just so I didn't have to see her posts. I don't know if I will regret this or not. I feel like I need to find myself and I dont know who I am. Now I see her at the gym and she doesnt even look at me.

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