Asked: Is it normal to change this much?
When I was little, I was a handful. I was always getting into trouble, and I had behavior problems. It got to the point where I had to go to a mental hospital when I was in second grade. But they gave me some meds that did a chemical re-balance to help me control my impulses. I was also kind of promiscuous for my age. The first time I french kissed a guy, I was in third grade, and it was all my idea.
I really started to calm down in middle school. I got in a lot less trouble, but I was still talkative and social. But then when I got in high school, it's like I did a 180. I turned shy, and almost anti-social at one point. I didn't have a bf almost all throughout high school, I completely stayed out of trouble (no drinking or doing drugs), and I didn't have very many friends (just one bff). I was also very active in church, and I was planning on waiting until marriage to have sex. In fact, I was dead set on waiting, and not because anyone else was telling me to.
Now I'm a senior. Then beginning of my senior year was normal, but things have changed again. I don't go to church anymore (well, that was for reasons outside of my control). I kind of have a group of friends I hang out with. I feel more confident. And then in January, I started dating one of my co-workers. That's when things really started to change again. It was like that promiscuity I'd had when I was little had been building up over the years, or something. Basically, within a month of dating my bf, we'd done almost everything except actual sex, and the only reason I hadn't lost my virginity was because he wanted to wait. But I finally lost it earlier this week. I don't regret it at all. Though, it was weird when my bff (who lost her virginity, and had had plenty of bfs before me) asked me for sex advice the other day. Just last year, she would apologize for even talking about sex near me.
I don't really know what I'm asking. I guess: Is this normal? Sometimes, I don't even know who I am.
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Asked: RELATIONSHIP ADVICE! PLEASE HELP ASAP!?
Okay this is gonna be long and I've been a mess the past two days and I just need an outsiders advice other then my family and friends.
I started dating my boyfriend when we were 17 ( I'm now 20) in the beginning of our relationship he was very strange.. he always wanted to hang with friends instead of seeing me and what not . He liked drinking and partying too much but i told him that i couldn't be with someone like that, so he decided to take a break with it and for the past 2 and a half years of our relationship.. we basically spent every waking day with each other. Just three days ago we had a great valentines day.. he spent over 200 dollars on me and we had very intimate sex which we haven't done in awhile.. he literally told me he wanted to marry me and everything was FINE.
The next night I was at his house and i went upstairs to confront him because lately he's been ignoring me a lot ( playing video games, constantly watching tv..etc) * also i feel like he's changed.. he constantly is smoking weed ALL the time, he won't wake up and get out of bed i have to basically force him to its almost like he has no motivation at all .. he also stopped going to college he's constantly missing school* SO anyway, i went to confront him about the ignoring thing and i layed down on his bed because i take pain meds from my surgery and i got tired.. he was being really annoying laying all over me and i kept telling him to stop because i was actually tired and he wasn't just trying to lay with me he was like laying on my hair and like really bothering me ( not in a cute way) so he got off the bed and i was pretending like i was packing my stuff to go and i didn't say a word to him. All of a sudden he comes up and he's legit in my face like his face was so close to my face it was touching mine and he was screaming DELTE ALL OF OUR TEXTS DELETE THE TEXTS.. nothing was making sense to me .. why would he want me to randomly delete texts? So finally it got to far and i wouldn't delete them so he pushed me ( i just had knee surgery a month ago and i can't bend my leg at all i have a brace on and i had my fourth neck surgery a couple of months before that.. pushing someone is very serious ESPECIALLY after they had that many surgeries) so i slapped him and i said thats it I'm going home. He told me if I left i would make the biggest mistake of my life.. idk why he would say that we both needed space clearly and he JUST pushed me I didn't want to be around him. So my mom got there and he was like can I have one last hug… REALLY? thats just weird…
When I got home I had to make contact with him i had to call i had to text and while on the phone i asked why he didn't drive over immediately to try and fix things.. if you love someone that much you would do whatever it takes knowing you pushed them and basically gave them no choice but to leave. So he told me that he had no gas in the car.. * oh okay i guess now I'm not even worth five bucks of gas? mind u he's a very cheap person as it is, but still*
So the next day we talked again and he said there was no chance of us getting back together.. ( we already changed our fb status to single and i made a Facebook status saying i was done with him which 70+ people liked.. but that doesn't mean we couldn't date again… i was willing to give him another chance.) he then literally told me he stopped loving me a month ago..
This is what I need help with.. how did he stop loving me a month ago.. yet buy me expensive **** even though he's cheap and kept having me around having VERY intimate sex and telling me he wanted to marry me? Do you think he's only saying this because he was mad about the Facebook status because he isn't a public person like that? Because why would he of bothered to take me out and spend money on me if he didn't love me. It honestly makes no sense and I'm really confused. When he came over to talk he said he wanted to be friends but i can't be friends with someone like that… then when he left he stood on my front porch for a half hour staring at my door. He told me though that the only reason why he was breaking up with me was because he didn't want to hurt me since I'm always trying to get him to be a better person ( knocking the bad drinking habits** he doesn't just have a couple of beers he has to have like 14 until he passes out.. he even went to a bar with me and drank unattended drinks)**
I just need advice.. do you think he's gonna come crawling back? We were so close we literally spent everyday with each other and slept over each others houses.
Im just a mess from this especially since i can't really get out of bed from the constant surgeries.
I just want an opinion from an outside view. Do you really think he meant he didn't love me? Ive done everything for him. This is seriously breaking my heart.
Asked: Need to be a "bad boy" and "jerk". Everyone has someone and i don’t!!! ?
Not trolling here and Im 18 and never had a girlfriend BTW. Oh dont be an ******** and report this because im seeking advice and an answer
After much thought, i've decided im really going to try and put an effort in to change myself into the "jerk and *******" kind of guy. I posted a question earlier and people telling me to "be myself and have confidence" and girls saying they "hate jerks and love nice guys"
I've done research and its proven every girl goes for the jerk on a subconscious level. Which is why you see girls with guys who look like douches all the time. Ive been rejected 7 times and enough is enough, ive decided to change myself completely
I hate being myself and have been raised to respect girls and be a gentleman, but girls hate gentlemen and never date them and if they do they only consider gentlemen after theyre past 30 years old when looks are gone and used up emotionally (not to mention sexually, no guys wants a loose vagina) and no guy wants them. And im not getting leftovers from other guys
Im determined to start changing and i feel im making progress but im asking fellow guys how can i be more of a ***** to women and people in general so I get the girl? Girls dont give me "nice guy" BS as you all sleep with jerks and leave nice guys in the dust, what do they do that turns you on?
AND IF i did ever get into a relationship I wouldnt be able to live with the fact my girl OR wife has had sex with so many others and I haven't. So basically im just a number and would be compared with other guys in terms of performance and size. So I get a girl who has sex with a number of guys and im just supposed to be fine with that?
I wish i had to money to surgically alter my face something fierce and change myself completely. Decided im opening up a savings account for surgery on my vocal chords to deepen or lower my voice, OR try and get some testosterone from sources or something because I'm tired of myself, part of me wants to take steriods in which I'm most likely going to since i know a guy who will get me some.
Asked: Is confidence actually attractive to women?
Many pickup artists say that confidence is the key to being an alpha male, but that sounds like a laughable con. I mean, you can't have sex with confidence; you can't fall in love with confidence; you can't cuddle up next to confidence. So, is confidence really the key with women, or is it the lie it probably is?