Im hurting real bad i need advice…

Carolina Asked: Im hurting real bad i need advice…

Where should i begin… i was never interested in guys i promised myself i would only date someone i would love and loved me back so i would avoid getting hurt or hurt people so i had only had a boyfriend before when i was 13 it was short nothing serious. 2 years ago i met this guy online i was 18 from portugal he was 24 from texas… he got on a long distance relationship he was always so sweet to me telling me all about him we would spend hours on the webcam and we would even watch each other sleep. He left me twice for 2 girls but then in June 2011 he said i was the one he always wanted to be with so i decided i was gonna visit him… i didnt have a job so i saved all the money my parents would give me for food at school and finally got 1000euros to go visit him on January 2012. I gave up everything to be with him friends, school, family, he was my first and everything im 20, he said he wanted to marry me when i got back because i had to go back to my country on April but he broke up with me recently… Hes been talking to other 2 girls telling them the same things he would tell me, he even said he wanted me to be the mom of his children presented me to his family they love me and miss me… i feel very hurt… he even knows what it feels like cause his 3years girlfriend left him cause he cheated on her and he still cries because of it how could he do this to me after everything… i dont know what to do with my life anymore, i always wanted to avoid this thats why i never trusted any guy… please tell me i will get over him i love him so much and he doesnt deserve it i crossed the world for him and everything and now i know i never meant anything to him… they say we never forget our first love but i want to this is horrible i dont think i will ever trust anyone again and now every guy seems to want to be with me and i feel disgusting i feel like im cheating on this guy i just want to be alone… i just wanted someone trustworthy, loyal and mature i dont think i ask for to much im not a sl*t i dont drink or smoke i dont go out, im a good girl im so smart but whats the point on being good if you still get sh*t on ? i just wanted to know what being loved trully feels like cause i thought i had finally found it after being 7 years single but everything was lie… i read people too well thats why i cant trust them and ignored everything in this guy he would get mad at me for disagreeing with me he hit me a couple of times and i did hit him back to he turned out to be a completly different person being bipolar and have adhd is not an excuse… but i still wanted to believe he loved me he would always say the right things i was so stupid i can never forget myself for this… how do you move on? please help i had never been in a relationship before i have no idea what to do he was the one would keep me company all the time now i have no one and my parents cant know im one year behind in school because of this guy they still throw that at my face but still think im with him…
and i cant seem to let him go i still save all his messages and wait for him to get online but i know he will never will this time… he even blocked me and everything… and i have exams in 2 weeks i cant fail them but i cant study icon sad Im hurting real bad i need advice...

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