I’m 23, never had a girlfriend, have a non-existent social life, and I have no future. Feel depresse
Mark Asked: I’m 23, never had a girlfriend, have a non-existent social life, and I have no future. Feel depresse
I feel like a total loser and It's making me feel depressed with my life. Below are the issues in my life that are bothering me.
- I have never had a girlfriend. This is mainly due to my lack of confidence during my teens, in which I suffered a lot of physical inperfections, such as bad acne, overweight issues, and losing my mother when I was 14 years old. Due to these issues, I was lacking confidence and became a recluse after my mother passed away. I missed a lot of schooling, therefore I had to play catch up and things just weren't ever the same. I am still a little overweight, but I have lost a lot of fat and I now have clear skin which isn't spotty any more. But because of my lack of dating when I was younger, I am now less confident and not as experienced around girls. My friends are all dating or in relationships, whereas I am still single and struggling to find my way in life.
- Non-existent social life
This is mainly the reason that my dating life is non-existent too, as I just don't go out much any more because my friends have girlfriends, therefore they spend time with their girlfriends and don't go out as much any more. It is depressing that my social life is so bad now, as there was a time when I was going out every other week, but now It feels like I'm losing contact with my friends now. The thing is, I'm not in employment or education, so I can't meet people. I would love to meet new people, but at the moment it's pretty much impossible.
I have no Future.
I went to College (UK College) and completed a Sports Course, and I applied to go to University to study sports. But I didn't go, because I realised that Sports wasn't the route I wanted to go down for a future career. Since then I haven't really had a definite passion for anything career wise, I just want to find a job at the moment because I've been unemployed for so long. I have been asked by my cousin's husband if I want to work with him next week, helping with labouring and some other duties, so obviously I've said yes because I need some money, but I just don't like that I have no career or stable job at the age of 23, instead I have to work for a few months with family because I'm desperate for work, I feel pathetic. I was thinking of going back to education next year, but I have no idea what I want to study! I would like to go back to education for the social side, but then it is pointless going back to education if I don't know what to study.
Also, I still live at home with just my dad, so it's kind of depressing because I want to move out too. But if I go back to education, I will have to stick around and live with my dad for a further few years until University (if I go).
What do you suggest I do? I really need some useful advice, as I'm feeling pretty down about life at the moment.
ok, so you have proposed theory A – 'you have no life'. here is theory B – you are free.
You are not tied to a relationship, you do not have to compromise around the other persons bad habits or wants. You are not committed to a single career and can try loads of different things before to decide on what you want. you are not paying a mortgage or tied to a rental contract (you lucky barsteward you). social confidence comes with age. remember though, to feel pity toward all the sad conformists surrounding you and their desparate attempts to do exactly the same as everyone else. and then say ***** 'em.
Start school.Pick major second or third year.Get out more.
You have to feel confident about yourself thats how you attract girls and also people into your life. Think about things your good at or love doing maybe that can lead you towards your future and your calling. You need faith and hope! Know that God has a plan for you, learn to listen to his calling for you:) don't give up…you make a difference even if you don't believe it at the moment. I'll keep you in my prayers.
One of the things that I like to tell to people who feel really depressed is that one reason to keep living, is that somewhere out there there is a future wife out there for you. She loves you already, but she doesn't even know it just like you love her. That's always one reason to keep on living. I'm sorry I can't help more, but I can say that Jesus changed my life and made me happy, and he can change yours too.
Goodness me, firstly don't be so hard on yourself!!! You sound like your giving yourself a really rough time and the moment, and there is no need to!! – I am 19, and I still don't have a boyfriend. Don't get me wrong I would love to because all my friends have partners, but the way I see it is the right person just hasn't come along yet! Don't think that there is something wrong with you, you just haven't met the right person yet (: There is someone out there for everyone, and your are just waiting for the right girl to make her appearance! Don't let things of your past cloud your judgement as to who you are now, it is the PAST for a reason. Who cares if you had acne or were overweight, all that matters is who you are now, and you sound like a very kind and sensitive guy! There is nothing more attractive to a girl than a guy with confidence, and it sounds like you need to gain a LOT of it! Start asking your friends to come out with you more, tell them that you want to go out and meet people! You could even ask one of your friends if him and his girlfriend fancied going to a local pub for a drink, and ask his girlfriend to bring a few of her friends along as a chance to meet some new people! Your only 23, you have so much ahead of you! The key to all of your happiness at the moment seems to point to one thing – You need to get a job. If you get a job, then this will introduce you to some new people, helping to gain your confidence and social skills. This will make it easier for you to go out and meet new people (: Don't worry, I was a university drop-out and I was feeling in exactly the same position as you, but then one day you find a job that you love (: Good Luck, and don't be so hard on yourself!!
Your question was totally negative! (Never had…, Non-existent…., no future…, etc.). Negativity is a prime cause of depression! Learn to think positive! It can be done even with negative situations and perceptions!
Try, "learning to think positively" in a Yahoo! web search for many links on how to do this. Do not reject this; that is your negative attitude ruling you!
At 23 you are still a baby; your whole future is ahead of you! Change now! Good luck!
Volunteer at a charity, or go to church.
You life has basically gone stale, because there's no input, you need to get moving again, contribute to others, take the spotlight of you, and on somebody else.
That will get the juices flowing again, after which everything will become a lot more clear. Don't get too hung up on College/Uni BTW, people make a big deal of it, but being a go-getter, without a degree, will still beat out, any properly educated graduate, you just go hard.
First get started though, you need to be active, and contribute, after that things will fall back into place.
All you need to do is try. I know it's hard to over-come your depression once you've got it (mine ended up to the point of suicide), but you have to try and be as happy as you possibly can. Don't think about your worries in life, because they the things that are making you feel put-down in society.
I used to have a friend. She was absolutely horrible. She did things to me on purpose whenever she was jealous, she laughed at my shame, tried to point out how imperfect I was, ect. This is what triggered how put-down I felt, but I was still a good friend to her.
I let our friendship drag along in the dirt. I finally had enough and started to ditch her at school for other friend's that were a big support and that could bring me out of my shell again.
I'm saying that you need to see what makes you happy, yourself, and embrace it.
Don't see your imperfections, because we all have them.
Go out on a run, let your emotions flow. I usually go to the cliffside or just the beach and let it all out there, it's relaxing for me.
You really just need to be comfortable in your own skin.
You DO have a future!
When you meet a girl who likes you for you, who knows, maybe you'll get married and have a couple of children!
Erase anything from your life that is a major let down for you.
Try to get as involved as you possibly can, plan to have a night at the bar, pub, anything you like, as long as you're active and interacting with people who can make you feel much better about yourself.
I swear, friends can change a lot of what your intentions are, they made me more happy, self-confident and appreciative to myself.
Go out every once in a while, maybe a walk to cleanse yourself of depression of dark feelings.
Yes!! Try getting into education again!
Do anything that interests you, the world is your oyster (however they day it, lol). This will give you an outlook of getting to meet new people and gaining self-confidence.
I say you get out there, who knows, in twenty years time you could be a world famous movie director or singer.
And I swear (the last time), that friends and people really do make a difference.
Thanks for being confident enough to post this for other people to read!I hope you feel a bit better just by venting.My advice to you is to get a job for now, it will open more opportunities for you, since you will be gaining work experience, socializing in order to get your work done, and earning money which you can then decide what to do with and which will also make you feel much more independent.Working with your family is still working, if you feel they are offering you a job only to help you then simply get the experience, write down their names as recommendations, and find a job elsewhere afterward!I wouldn't suggest going back to school without a specific study in mind just because you feel that's what other people your age are doing.Save up some money and take your time deciding what field you would enjoy working in.You're worrying about too many things at once and I would be overwhelmed too if I had all of those things on my mind, so the solution is to take a step toward where you want to go.Right now you say you feel "pathetic" because you are 23 with no stable job, and desperate for work… seems to me you should only have one goal at the moment and ignore all else, find a job!After taking a step forward a large chunk of your worries will diminish, you will have more confidence in yourself and your abilities after you get out of your stand-still life, and you will be excited for another goal eagerly expecting more fulfillment after achieving the next. Be patient and try to enjoy the little things while working toward your goals as well.
before you think of anyother thing to do,first,find what makes you happy.use that thing to get back your confidence,and with your confident back,i assure u,u will weather the storm……just try and be happy…because life is too short,and more too precious to waste it on idleness………….go move the mountain and weather the storm my friend.good luck
Gah. I'm in the same boat almost. I'm not going to get best answer for this but jus wanted to stop here to say you're not alone!
What do you want out of life. You know. Get to know yourself first before finding the other half.Once you have established that you can take steps to getting what you want.
Put yourself in places where you can meet people. Be yourself. Ask your friends how they do it. Educations and career wise what do you now want to study. Do some research. Many people used to be in similar situations and have now overcome they explain, www.findinganswers.tv/?page_id=704 Get to know yourself first before finding the other half. Have a good week.
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