Can i please have some advice on staying away from a severely abusive boyfriend?

Asked: Can i please have some advice on staying away from a severely abusive boyfriend?

i am 25 years old and i was sexually abused for 10 years by my mothers boyfriend, i am a very pretty girl with probably the lowest self esteem humanly possible. that makes me a big target for men.
i have been with this guy for a year, i work full time as a nurse and he doesn't work at all but he gets $580 a month from a trust fund and he doesn't have any bills at all.
i have paid for every single date that we have ever been on. he got drunk and destroyed my car, he stomped on the hood of my car and cracked my radiator the fluid leaked into the engine and destroyed it he also smashed out 3 windows. the car was worth 5 grand. he never reimbursed me and i had to pay for a new car, meaning i now work 16 hour days to afford it.
he has physically beaten me. he has never given me a gift ever, not on valentines day, xmas, birthday, 1 year anniversary. i have spent thousands on him bringing us on day trips and paying for food. i have been begging him for flowers for a year he never sent me any EVER. he will lie and say they are on the way and they never show and id cry so much id get a weak stomach and throw up.
he spoiled his ex girlfriends rotten, diamond necklaces on anniversaries, flowers every month, gourmet dinners, fancy restaurants and dates he even sent one a $300 teddy bear on a random wednesday to show he cared.
i feel worthless, he treats me worthless, i believe I'm worthless. i want to get flowers like his other girlfriends, I've almost become fixated on getting them to validate myself, to feel like a woman who is loved and valued to say "he cared enough to get me flowers' to feel like those ex girlfriends who felt special and loved. he laughs at me, he hangs up on me when i cry, he says he will send the flowers but he just doesn't, its been going on for a year now.

why is he so cruel? how do i convince myself to let go of the fact i was never worthy enough to receive flowers, to have him pay the dinner bill just once, to have him send me a teddy bear for an anniversary or acknowledge me on christmas and birthdays. how do i feel worthy after he treated those other woman like princesses and me like junk, whats wrong with me?


This is called the repetition compulsion.If only he would treat you well, it would undo all the bad things.Or at least that's what you think.So you keep going back to him, just desperate for that one thing that would make it all better.

The reality is that he is a predator.He senses your weakness.He is manipulating you by putting you down.He is lying to you about how well he treated his exes.He knows that this will make you desperate to win his approval.

Talk to your doctor.Your doctor will refer you to someone who can help you with this.

You need to cut him completely out of your life.You need to undo the negative messages so that you will stop desperately seeking the approval of a user.You will find a guy who will appreciate you and treat you well instead of dangling his approval in front of you to get what he wants.

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