Are there such thing as competitive couples who compete against you and your partner?
Asked: Are there such thing as competitive couples who compete against you and your partner?
These friends (couple) were very negative to me and my new relationship a few months back. I feel like they weren't very supportive because of their own biases. The first argument I got into my bf, my friend encouraged me to break up with him; she then had an arrogant tone with me bc I stood up for myself and actually disagreed with her. Her boyfriend had the nerve to call me and give me unasked advice about how relationships should go and the "stages of relationships" and how wrong my bf and I were bc we didn't do it according to the normal stages OR how he and his girlfriend dated. I didn't even have a convo with him about this (I did with his girlfriend) and of course, anything I say, she has to make a discussion with her boyfriend about. I felt judged by his opinion bc it wasn't really his business to analyze. For one, I was their third wheel (which they encouraged and I felt was a co-dependent relationship on their part) – having their third wheel gone was a threat to them. I was still cool and friends with them but it's different when their third wheel wasn't as available. Instead of being supportive and happy (and understanding they had to give me space), the boyfriend literally called me and called me out "you don't hang out with us any more." WHAT? Thanks for the company but what couple would be that hurt and offended that a third wheel wasn't hanging out with them? Aren't they aware that things change when I'm in a relationship, now? That they should also befriend or at least be nice to my boyfriend?
Also, they're very miserable people bc they spend their days gossiping, criticizing mutual friends, upping themselves bc what their friends do is not "right" (or at least in their way). Whenever i met up with them, it's what they ALWAYS talk about (i zone out) but bc I'm not as available their miserable talk doesn't have my extra company. And third, they're both very insecure people who care about status and money. My friend (girl) tends to lie sometimes to make her boyfriend seem good and he seems to believe it; he's as insecure and self conscious as a high school girl and it's embarrassing to be around. In an ironic twist (and in a nutshell), my boyfriend is what my friend always wanted in her bf and her bf seems to feel threatened with his status bc it's what he's been lying to people about. They've been dating for a long long long time (more than 7 years) and her decision was not to introduce him to her family – that's her business and I never judged her for it. Her belief is that she wanted her boyfriend to be "presentable" to her parents. I'm different and the minute we started dating she asked, "are you going to introduce him to your family? Do you think your mom will like him?" When I told her I would (when I was ready) she said, "Oh, that's brave of you to do." Geez, indirect jab, right? Anyhoo, my bf's been neutral in all this and says he'll just support me. He says I don't owe them anything at all and if they were real friends, they wouldn't be thinking of themselves so much. He said that he doesn't get too invested in them bc he just started getting to know them so any opinion they have of him doesn't matter. He also said that if it gets worse, he may have to step in and have a word (but just in case). One thing that struck was that he said, "they just feel threatened by you bc by you having a boyfriend, you set the standard in which they are trying to compete with. If they had it their way, they would want you single." I feel this is true but I can't understand it. I guess you need that competitive couple mentality… but why would they want me single? So they won't have competition? What couples compete with other couples?
They live in a land called: ONE UP, USA.
I'd create fake things my boyfriend (mate/love (see my argument) did just to piss them off."Girl, he bought me a mall."
If they say…you are lying, just tell them you were being facetious.But keep it up until you are dying laughing.
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- Just F*ck Me! – What Women Want Men to Know About Taking Control in the Bedroom (A Guide for Couples) – Revised Edition (Kindle Edition)